i want you in your rawest form
let’s exhaust each other
i was an angel-haired girl chasing permanence through rye fields
i kept falling off the other end
there was no one there to catch me
everything and everyone you admire is a lie i promise
you’ll meet them and realize they were so much taller on paper
here’s the problem you’re a superhero
then the person you love is in trouble no it doesnt matter trouble of any kind
they can’t get to work and need a ride they’re locked out of their house they’re
father won’t stop using them as a dartboard to drill his anger towards
but for some pathetic mundane extenuating circumstance
you could not help them;
you’re car was in the shop you were out of town that day you were too fucking scared
and now you’re so
every time i’ve ever fallen out of love
and sunken into a sallow bitter cavern where it’s always dark always their face on every wide-staring wall
it’s been because i started relying on them for important things
(my happiness my sustenance a reason to wake up)
but we are machines with all faulty cogs and we’re too stingy to spring for oil
and we all should’a just stayed unexcavated in
i wrote this for you because i can’t not
i crave you like a quiet violin craves your grandmothers careful tremblings hands
i crave you like the ocean craves sunken ship skeletons
i crave you like an artist craves the melancholy
i crave you like my mind craves uncomplicated answers it’s funny how it’s never enough
my friends keep telling me to stop writing so much incase
so much art starts to make me dark
but i can’t i need to keep writing until i get you
everything i’ve done so far is scrap paper
i got the sketch nearly right but something’s off;
i can’t stop smudging the delicate place between your ear and collarbone
so here’s another useless attempt at capturing you
i won’t pin it to the fridge any time soon but
i need to keep my hands and brain busy
or i’ll drift to your image in all my idleness
and i can’t look at that directly
i need to filter you through my skewed sick vision
and hope once i pen your likeness to paper in a way that gets it right
i’ll be emptied of you and find
something more productive to do.
Please don’t buy this system.
cant you just turn the camera around or put a blanket over it.
still a mic though
and theres the chance that it might say something like “error kinect camera cannot function when obscured”
Videogame consoles are not supposed to spy on you.
Videogame consoles are not supposed to potentially rat you out to the government.
Videogame consoles are not supposed to arbitrarily decide who sees what’s on the screen and what’s not.
I have never told anyone not to buy a videogame console, but in this case, knowing what I know about the Xbox One, I am seriously imploring people not to buy this machine. The console will not be consumer-friendly, and between the above and an always-on internet connection, how do you know your hobby isn’t siphoning personal information to…well, who knows who?
Suffice it to say, the Xbox 360 will be my last Microsoft console. I don’t care how many more Halo games get churned out.
Adding this here from my videogame blog because it’s too important, and the potential for Microsoft to spy on us, then report findings to the government if asked…yeah, no.
Spread the word!
If you haven’t read George Orwell’s “1984”, do so.
i have to tell you something but i can’t.
keeping it locked like an inmate in my brain makes
me feel so much further apart and now
the inside of my heart
smells like burning hair.
when i kissed him i felt like
a robot standing in a field of flowers
wondering why i can’t bend in the wind
but i’ll be what you want me to be—
i’ll step lively and smile right and pretend pretend pretend which
i’m used to and for months i got drunk and bold and blind
and tangled my tongue in his just for the hell of it.
i don’t mind and i don’t
have to let you tear me to pieces;
i’ll stop seeing your face altogether and focus on the tangible things
and you’ll become a merciful ghost floating above my bed.
i don’t mind being haunted just
try to dissipate when i wake
so i can go about my life with an empty artificial mind.
i’m fine really i’m fine it’s just
when i think about happiness i can’t stop seeing you somehow involved
and i feel useless as a scarecrow in a snow-filled field in winter
thinking how i am incapable of ever making that happen
because i’m too scared
i can’t tell you
i’ll deny everything if you ask
i’m a robot standing in a field of flowers
wondering why i can’t be colorful